Reshuffle: A Vladimir Vladimirovich™ Trilogy (part 2)

Part 2, wherein the new Defense Minister's background as a furniture salesman and as Tax Minister is explored. Original Russian version is here - my translation follows:

Once upon a time Vladimir Vladimirovich™ Putin was sitting in his Kremlin office and impatiently waiting for new stories to appear on his favorite website, vladimir.vladimirovich.ru.

All of a sudden the tall doors of his presidential office swung open, and a wide-faced man wearing an expensive suit entered cautiously.

"Hey, bro," Vladimir Vladimirovich™ asked, "who are you?"

"I'm Serdiukov," answered the man, "Anatoly Eduardovich. The new Minister of Defense."

"Really?" Vladimir Vladimirovich™ marveled. "But where's Ivanov?"

"Not for me to know," answered the man, "but you appointed me yourself."

"I just don't get it..." muttered Vladimir Vladimirovich™ in confusion. "Well, come on in, I guess. Have a seat. What's your..."

"Anatoly Eduardovich," the minister prompted.

"Anatoly," nodded Vladimir Vladimirovich™, "Eduardovich. Sit down, sit down. Tell me what your plans are for the army."

The Minister of Defense sat down in the chair in front of Vladimir Vladimirovich™'s desk and placed an expensive leather portfolio on his knees.

"I have a plan," said Anatoly Eduardovich. "A two-step plan."
"Two steps?" asked Vladimir Vladimirovich™, somewhat disappointed. "Why so few?"

"It's not many steps," the Minister of Defense agreed, "but they're very good ones. Take the first one, for example."
"Go on," nodded Vladimir Vladimirovich™.

"I propose we introduce a tax on compulsory military service," said the minister.
"I don't get it..." said Vladimir Vladimirovich™. "Military service is the duty of every citizen. How can we tax someone's duty?"

"It's an honorable duty!" Anatoly Eduardovich grinned. "And honor is something that should be taxed."

"Well, all right..." muttered Vladimir Vladimirovich™. "And what's the second step?"
"I propose we begin re-equipping our military immediately," said the minister.

"Aha!" exclaimed Vladimir Vladimirovich™ and brightened up. "That's another thing entirely! I'm ready to sign off on the money right this minute. What are we going to re-equip first?"

"I was thinking we could start with the bedside tables," answered the minster.
"The what?!" Vladimir Vladimirovich™ was amazed.

"The bedside tables," repeated the minister. "And if that works out, then we can take a crack at the beds, too."

Vladimir Vladimirovich™ stared in amazement at his new minister of defense.
The minister of defense smiled back at Vladimir Vladimirovich™